out of reach
by emryses
Summary: blaise will never give up on the love of his life. / tw: cancer-centric fic


**out of reach**

 **a/n: lmao y'all actually thought i was done writing theoblaise angst? forum prompts at the bottom, and thanks so much to sienna and vic for looking this over :3**

 **wc: 916**

* * *

 _(Despair.)_

He sat by a hospital bed, watching his lover's ragged breaths. He knew that they were his last moments, and he didn't want to believe that. Theo, who once had sleek brown hair, and a build that made him a heartthrob to girls and boys alike, was now frail, bald, and dying from leukemia.

"You can't leave me," Blaise murmured, already hating how pathetic his voice sounded.

Theo lay still in the bed, barely moving. Blaise felt a surge of anger at the doctors, even though it wasn't their fault that they could not find a suitable cure. It was cruel that even Wizards could not cure the horrors that come with cancer.

(He felt a surge of anger at _himself_ for not being able to make a cure; he was a Potioneer after all.)

His heart pounded in his chest. His entire body was shaking, praying that he would never hear the beep of the flatline.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a raspy voice. He turned around instantly, noticing that Theo was trying to speak to him.

Blaise squeezed his hand. "I'm here," he whispered softly.

Theo opened his mouth, as if to attempt to speak again. His voice was quiet, but Blaise could still hear it. _"I love you."_

Blaise blinked to keep the tears at bay. "I love you too, more than you could ever know," he grabbed onto his husband's hand. "I need you to remember what we said to each other during our wedding vows."

(He knew that they didn't have much time left, and he _needed_ to make the most out of what they had.)

He spoke, and Blaise could tell that he was struggling. "Nothing...without you."

"Nothing without you," he repeated firmly. "That's what I am. I've been working so hard to find a cure. I'm so sorry that I wasn't quick enough."

 _(Flashbacks of him and Theo being best friends throughout Hogwarts, going through denial in fourth year, dating in fifth and sixth, having to be separated during the Battle of Hogwarts, and ultimately getting back together, creating memories._

 _And now, there would be no more.)_

"Don't _ever_ blame yourself, Blaise," said Theo fiercely. "It's not your fault, and it will never be. It wasn't your job to try and find a cure."

"Please don't leave me," said Blaise. His voice was weak. "We have memories. So _many_ memories…"

Theo smiled. "And thank you for bringing them to me. I -"

Before he could speak, the flat-line beeped. And Blaise Zabini burst into loud wails for the first time in forever, for his love was now _out of reach._

* * *

 _(Stubbornness.)_

As he did every week, Draco Malfoy knocked on his friend's door, waiting for him to answer. About a moment later, he heard the door open, revealing Blaise.

Draco always had to take a step back when he visited his longtime friend. The Italian, once bright and lively, was now a shell of his former self. He'd started to dedicate his entire life to finding a cure for the leukemia that had so brutally attacked and ultimately killed his lover, and pushed aside everything else.

 _(His friends. His social life. Even his own mother.)_

"Draco," said Blaise, managing a small smile. "Come in."

The blond stepped into the house, wincing at all the papers and potions ingredients that were strewn about, carefully stepping over them.

"I'm sorry about the mess," said Blaise, his voice sincere. "Maybe one day I'll be able to clean it up."

Draco took a breath. He knew that his friend meant to say once _he found something that could completely cure the illness._

They went to the kitchens to get tea, and Draco, as usual, noted how absentminded his friend was when the tea was poured.

"How're things going with you and Harry?" asked Blaise.

Draco grinned, lopsidedly. "Well, we're currently arguing over the walls in our room. I want them green. Scarhead, for some reason, thinks _maroon_ is a good color."

Blaise chuckled, rolling his eyes. Draco felt a surge of satisfaction; it was rare to get that reaction out of his friend since that fateful day five years ago.

"We should really go out together one day," tried Draco, already knowing the answer. "It's been too long since you've gotten some real fun."

"You know I can't," said the Italian, his eyes boring into the floor. "I must find a cure. Nobody will end up like Theo. Never again. I won't give up until his memory's honored. Until that _filthy disease_ is gone."

Draco took a breath. "The best way to honor someone is to move on."

"I won't," he said slowly, "Just _give up."_

The stubborn look in Blaise's eyes told Draco that there would be no stopping him. And the blond left, knowing that this was a lost battle.

* * *

 _(Dedication.)_

Anything that had to do with Blaise from the day Theo died and onward was a lost battle. He spent the remaining fifty years of his life either lost in memories of his love, or trying to find the cure for that fatal disease.

The thought of moving on revulsed him. The thought of giving up on a cure revulsed him even _more,_ and he was never able to find one.

 _(And when he lay on his own deathbed, he frowned. For he had failed the love of his life. Hopefully Theo would forgive him when they reunited in the afterlife.)_

* * *

 **caesar's palace decorate the palace event: k2 - out of reach**

 **hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry assignment # 10 - religious education task 12 - write about a person or group that refuses to give up**

 **writing club-**

 **showtime: 19. i'll cover you (genre) romance**

 **count your buttons - 1. theodore nott**

 **lyric alley - 17. when you're not here**

 **bex's basement - 19. write a blaisetheo**

* * *

 **please r &r :)**

 **-ana**


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